I lay here wondering
How do I live without you?
Then I remember, the only way that I can truly live in this present moment is without you.
Otherwise I die….slowly….suffocating from promises broken along with a heart broken so often and into so many pieces that God and ONLY God who created my heart is capable of fixing it, reconstructing it rather to prevent any further damage that could leave irreparable harm
I lie here…..wow, what powerful words. They say I am poetic, I have a God-given talent
Yet…….But…..if I were unable to write, to share, to pour out my pain on proverbial paper in an attempt to release this pain while simultaneously releasing myself from the hold you have on me since that whirlwind romance filled day in August of 2016, how much better my life would be now
I imagine if I never called, if you never answered, if I was never bound by a soul tie so strong
But then I am jarred back to reality, saddened still the more contemplating who I would have been if I had never been blessed to experience the now life shattering in depth connection of love that was you and I
I pray to God PLEASE never allow me to want someone, love someone, accept someone, crave someone so bad, so much ever again as long as I live…
but, unfortunately it is too late because I still want, love, accept and crave you.
Damn
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